Maybe we REALLY did learn everything we need to know in Kindergarten…

This past week was the first week of summer vacation for my 2 youngest boys.  My middle son is leaving elementary school and will entering the scary world of middle school.  My youngest just finished kindergarten.  Besides the normal thoughts most parents have of time flying by and their babies growing up, I found myself this week reflecting on my boys and asking myself. “When do we start to care what people think?”

Ethan is 10 going on 17.  Sports and ESPN have replaced SpongeBob and Nickelodeon. (There is a GOD!)  School has become a social event and unfortunately the classroom is his stage.  But also, all of a sudden he is very aware of what others think.  “Dad I don’t want to wear this batman bathing suit, it is embarrassing.”  His haircut matters, his clothes matter, and what he says and what he does, all of a sudden matter.

 Now, take my Luke.  Luke simply doesn’t care.  (See picture)  Luke is only being himself.  He doesn’t have a single thought about what people might say about what we wears, or does, or says.  For example, while shaking hands with the opponents in soccer, Luke went through the line saying “Bad Game, Bad Game” When I talked to him about not doing that and that it is bad sportsmanship his response was very truthful… “Dad, we crushed them, they did play bad” I love his free spirit and his personality.  But when and why does that change?

Holly and I were talking about this and what kind of world this would be if we all lost that social filters.  Completely open and completely genuine.  My guess is divorce rates would go way down, anxiety would be reduced, and overall people would be a lot happier and a lot more productive.

This is true especially in my business.  I often joke with people that if you ever need people to leave your cocktail party, I’m your guy.  I could just walk around and tell people I sell life insurance.  The room is guaranteed to empty quick!

 So, for most of us, we come up with a different job description.  Something a little more glamorous, a little more exciting, but mainly a little more socially acceptable.  I don’t understand why?  Selling life insurance is one of  the means, but it is not the “end”.

I have a client that I have known for over 20 years.  He is close to retirement but we have become pretty good friends over the years despite the age difference. A couple of weeks ago he called me with bad news, he has brain cancer.  I went and met with him and after a couple of minutes catching up, he said “DJ, I need you to tell me the truth, what should I do?”

At the time, I took that as he just didn’t want to hear any fancy sales pitch, but after about two hours of talking, I realized that was not what he meant.  As I was leaving, he grabbed me, put his arm around my neck, and said, “DJ I mean it, no matter how hard it is to say, tell me the truth, tell me what to do, and take care of my wife and daughter.”  This was one of the toughest, bravest men I have ever met and now he was scared, worried, and counting on me.

What an unbelievable responsibility.  But what a great job I have.  How many more people could I have helped if I was more like Luke though?

We teach our kids so many things, hopefully, so many positive things.  But if you pay attention, they can teach you some things to.  I love seeing Ethan grow up and I am very proud of the person he is becoming.  I will feel the same way about Luke.  But I hope Luke doesn’t change.  I hope he stays as free spirited as he is now, and I hope that we can all learn from him. 

After all, he learned it in kindergarten. .